Who’s to blame for this Cowboys season coming to an end? Todd Gurley and human hambuger CJ Anderson ran for 273 yards right into the soft and willing mouths of the Cowboys defense. What did the Cowboys do to stop this? Absolutely nothing whatsoever. The game was over at halftime. The Cowboys only lost by eight but it may as well have been a billion because when you’re giving up 7 yards a carry to a player with 78% body fat percentage… it doesn’t matter that your offense scored more points than it usually does.


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The Cowboys defense displayed the consistency of explosive diarhea pretty much from the first snap of the game. At no point did the Cowboys defense show any signs of stopping the Rams rushing attack. It looked at one point as though the Cowboys actually wanted the Rams to score on every possession. The Washington Generals have more respect for themselves than the Cowboys defense showed on Saturday.

DEFENSE WINS CHAMPIONSHIPS. Unfortunately the Cowboys left theirs in Texas.

Offensively the Cowboys tried to do the same thing the Rams did. Establish a sound rushing attack. And boy did they… to the tune of 50 whole yards. The Cowboys offense is not only antiquated, it’s wasteful. With Amari Cooper, Ezekiel Elliott, Dak Prescott, one of the best offensive lines in NFL history AND a pretty solid group of TEs there’s no excuse for how putrid the Cowboys have been all season long. Congratulations Cowboys, you’re the Dunder Mifflin of the NFL. Not only are you trying to sell an antiquated product, but even if you weren’t your lack of sophistication and diligence will ensure you’d screw up just about anything, no matter how state of the art the approach may be.

The Cowboys will of course meet all of these criticisms the way America’s Team demands always does… by doing absolutely nothing to fix the problem in the offseason and then wait until the 9th game of the season next year to fire and or trade everyone away.

This is how its done. They’ll make the necessary changes, just way later than you want and in the least efficient manner imaginable. At least they traded away their first round pick so they won’t be able to make any improvements to the roster in the draft either. Do you remember the last time the Cowboys didn’t have a first round pick? I do. And it was a “I just had Popeye’s for lunch and the enemies are at the gates if you know what I mean…” level disaster. 2009 was one of the worst drafts in NFL history. Celebrating 10 years of running in place – what better way to do that than by repeating all of your vintage mistakes Cowboys?

God this is going to be so much fun!


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