With each passing day, I’m starting to talk myself into Terrell Owens’ insane NFL comeback. It’s starting to feel inevitable.
The man is 44 years old and he ran a 40-yard dash that matched his age.
I didn’t think that was humanly possible, but here’s T.O. proving all of us wrong. Even in middle age, the man is an athletic specimen the likes of which we haven’t seen since Bo Jackson, Herschel Walker, and possibly Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.
A lot of internet nerds have been dissecting this video and questioning its validity. Most people are saying it looks closer to a 4.6 upon further inspection. Still, for a guy that’s old enough to be most wide receivers’ dad, that’s pretty impressive.
I always thought T.O. got pushed into retirement a little too soon. His last year in the NFL he was 37 years old playing on an awful Bengals team where he still managed to put up 72 catches for 983 yards and nine touchdowns in just 14 games.
(Fun fact: Terrell Owens is the only player in NFL history to catch a touchdown against all 32 teams.)
Owens wouldn’t put prime T.O. popcorn-eating, star-disrespecting, McNabb-yelling numbers like he was in the mid-2000’s, and he probably wouldn’t reach his Bengals numbers either, but if you don’t think he could put up 500 yards and five touchdowns in a season you’re simply fooling yourself.
Does he have that extra gear? Probably not. But there’s one thing he definitely didn’t have in the early part of his career: DAD STRENGTH. Dad Strength makes up for a lot of weaknesses later in life like not working out or having a back that crumbles into little pieces every six months. Dad Strength gets that couch up the stairs and gets that sleeping kid from the couch to his bed.
Perhaps, now that I think about it, this is why T.O. is skipping his Hall-of-Fame enshrinement ceremony: he’s just too humble of a guy to show up is fellow classmates because he’s the only one still able to strap on the pads and haul in a skinny post for a touchdown. I know for a fact that Cris Carter would turn to dust at his age if he got pressed at the line by Aqib Talib (can you imagine the shit talking between him and T.O.?).
Also, for the love of all that is holy, imagine the shitstorm when T.O. gets signed before Dez Bryant. My goodness.
The Terrell Owens come back is on its way, and I suggest getting your popcorn ready.