Welcome to Roughing the Pundit, I’m TJ Carpenter.

The Rams vs Cowboys was the most watched prime time NFL game on Fox ever. Which means more people than at any other point in television history witnessed the Dallas Cowboys get totally outclassed by a team that is bigger faster younger and more attractive than they are. Most of the losers in the playoffs can build off what they did in the postseason.

The Colts had a bad day.

The Chargers got patrioted. That’s a technical football term… look it up.

The Eagles fell short in a competitive football game.

The Cowboys? The Cowboys had their fundamental identity as a football team completely exposed as inadequate and stupid.

And how are the Cowboys going to respond to this revelation? By retaining all of their coaches and making no major pushes for high profile free agents in the offseason. But hey, at least they traded away their first round pick in the upcoming draft, so they won’t be able to make any major additions there either.

Chargers fans across the nation were ashamed by what they saw against the Patriots on Sunday. I’m just kidding. There’s no such things as Chargers fans.

Andy Reid was seen admonishing fans for throwing snowballs during the Chiefs victory over the Colts. YEAH. Quit playing games! We’re trying to play a game over here.

The Jets have hired Adam Gase! Who looks like he knows exactly how things are going to go in New York. Gase has the look of a man who just got done having a conversation with his future self in the bathroom right before walking on stage… and he did not like what he heard. “YOU TURN AND RUN, RIGHT NOW.” And then Future Gase jumped right back through the time portal which he came… GET OUT ADAM, BEFORE

The Denver Broncos have hired Vic Fangio to replace make a wish foundation winner Vance Joseph after two years. Say what you will but Make a Wish will do whatever it takes to make those dreams come true. You may know Vic Fangio from his television work on Billions and the Walking Dead. Rumor has it that’s actually what his new nickname around the Broncos facility.

Is Vance Joseph some kind of mediocre coach Hydra? You slice him open and two more mediocre coaches sprout up in his place! What happens when we split Vic Fangio open? Does Jim Schwartz respawn like this is a Fortnite Battle?

Is there some kind of cosmic pinwheel of perfunctory coaching candidate names and John Elway is the only one who can see it because he has special powers like an alcoholic Flash Gordon… who will save the universe? Why a professional quarterback of course! Running the Broncos will be no problem. It’s exactly like his old job… minus the whole fun football part where you can solve problems by throwing a football really far.

Vangio is better than Vance Joseph. Not only is Fangio old as dirt, Fangio is also a TEACHER of men… not a LEADER of men. And that’s what’s important…. I’m glad John Elway took the time to point that out.

I somehow feel like the universe wanted this to happen to punish James Harden for what he has done to basketball.

Tim Tebow is getting married! When is the last time we celebrated the loss of virginity like we are as a nation? Tim Tebow gave us that. I for one am thankful.

The NFL and NFLPA have done a thorough investigation of themselves and find that they did nothing wrong according to themselves.

The NFL is now in a place where their track record of operating in good faith is so terrible, even if they do tell the truth… no one will believe them. They are THAT awful organizationally at the top. Even the good things they do are met with suspicion and ire.

Drug tests by league:
Basketball = It sucks but we have to.
Baseball = We tried not to for a really long time.
Football = Any opportunity we have to oppress the players and make their lives difficult we will absolutely take, you know us, we’re the NFL and we’re assholes.

Did the Patriots “rope-a-dope” the entire country into actually making the Patriots the underdog?

  1. A: More impressive rushing performance – Rams or Patriots
  2. A: More impressive rushing performance – Rams or Patriots
  3. B: Who had the worst performance of the weekend – Chargers, Colts, Cowboys?
  4. C: Old vs New – will we see a changing of the guard in the NFC or the AFC with Rams vs Saints and Chiefs vs Patriots. 3. MAKE A CALL  – (YOU MAKE THE CALL FOR THIS SITUATION)
  5. A: KYLER MURRAY Baseball or Football?
  6. C: Foles or Wentz – What do you do with the the one you don’t want?